Esther Perel discusses Infidelity in Relationships_Is it really the last straw?

Author Esther Perel, releases The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity this October as she attempts to analyze Infidelity in relationships from a psychological perspective.

In her own words, “Addressing these issues requires a willingness to descend into a labyrinth of irrational forces. Love is messy; infidelity more so. But it is also a window, like none other, into the crevices of the human heart.”

See a quick snippet from Ted Talks, where the author discusses the topic further.


While Perel addresses this from a academic standpoint, for many of us infidelity is far more of an emotional and personal topic. In many cases, it is the ultimate violation that many refuse to forgive or move forward with.

It is important to discuss the many permutations of this topic. Many condone physical cheating but don’t think twice about emotional infidelity. In a recent Dr. Phil episode, the audience admitted that 40% of them were having emotional affairs. Of that 40%, 80% did consider this to be a form of cheating also.

There’s a famous adage, I’ve always felt to be very relevant. Before you water your neighbor’s garden, make sure you water yours. 

Relationships are not disposable.

If people expended the same type of effort rebuilding or nurturing their own relationships rather than trying to swap out their partner, perhaps cheating would greatly decline.

It is a great achievement to share memories with someone when you grow old. Naturally relationships change over time, there are hills and valleys but that will be the case in any relationship.

Invest in activities that nurture your relationship whether it’s a shared workout, evening strolls to reconnect, couples massages and/or other activities that can refill your love cup.

“Love can make you happier than you’ve ever been, sadder than you’ve ever been, angrier than you’ve ever been. It can elate you and deflate you almost at the same time.” But in todays’ world,  love is what we want and need the most.