When a relationship is fairly new, sparks are flying for anything and everything. Once the dopamine surge levels drop a little, how do you stay intimate?
- Sex is not the only way to establish connectivity. Holding hands, lightly grazing someone’s elbow, placing your hand on their knee, hugging, these are all ways people can reinforce their connection with each other. A bonding mechanism is triggered within the body whenever you touch someone, more so when it’s your better half. Touch often to stay connected with the one you love. Kiss him before walking out the door, hug when you see each other. This practice will help you reconnect after a long day apart.
- Text- yes I said it. Text lets you tap into each other throughout the day. A thoughtful text can place you on your partner’s radar ASAP. No nonsense about errands that need to happen, but something a little provocative can really change the way you see each other. In the monotony of the everyday and routine, a little sexy pic can make your partner a little more intrigued about seeing you. Text them that they’re running through your mind and well, then some. Intimacy needs ammunition and nurturing desire is vital to the health of your relationship.
- Self-care. It is so important to take time and nourish yourself throughout a relationship. Make sure you pursue your own passion also. While it’s important to have activities as a couple, when you return to the partnership with new activities, it keeps your partner intrigued but most importantly it generally makes you feel happy. The introduction of new topics reestablishes intimacy between you and your partner. Stay intimate and remember happy people make great relationships.
- When couples tend to socialize with others, this often makes their partner desire them. Seeing your partner in a group setting, speaking or participating in a conference normally rekindles intrigue. Socializing helps couples escape the usual conversations they might engage in, it also gives them an opportunity to find out different attributes of their partner. Sometimes relationships suffer from routine. When you’re out and about, topics often arise in conversation that can surprise you- in a good way.
- Surprise or spontaneity. This element is critical to a relationship and to connectivity. Your body naturally taps into endorphin releases when you do activities that cause an adrenaline rush. Book a mid-day rendezvous. Pack up and leave town-without notice. While routine can create intimacy also, surprise keeps the spark alive.
- Take a trip with friends. The old adage, absence makes the heart grow fonder is true. In fact, a molecule called CRF (corticotrophin-releasing factor) helps keep couples together. CRF is released whenever couples are separated; it creates an unpleasant feeling that makes them miss each other. Being intimate is sometimes better when you’re apart for a little while as you miss the familiarity of this person and also tend to appreciate them more in a healthy relationship.
Good news is the longer a relationship lasts, the brain starts releasing other elements to maintain intimacy after the dopamine rush dials down. In men, a molecule called vasopressin also increases. Vasopressin is linked to territorial behavior, and it may explain why, in healthy relationships, men feel loyal and protective of their partners.