by Tanea Flanders is a Life Coach, Leadership Development and Organizational Consultant, and part of the Live Well / Stay Well Program at Tournesol Wellness
It is pretty ironic that the bigger the city you live in the lonelier and more isolated you can feel. It’s not you, your personality, or something you’re doing wrong. The first two decades of your life someone other than you very often created your social circle. Your friendships centered on school, camps, lessons, academic, and athletic clubs which the adults in your life essentially designed. Up until your early adulthood years, all you had to do was just show up. Give yourself some credit because as an adult finding new friends require new skills.
Find Your Tribe
Building your social muscle is the same as strengthening your biceps, it takes work and it becomes easier to do over time. Similar to your fitness goals, begin your socializing plan with a self-assessment. Take stock in who you are, what you enjoy doing, and find activities that leverage your talents and strengths. You can find other people who enjoy the same things that you do by searching for local events on the Internet. The people you meet who enjoy the same things you do over time become your inner circle. You need your “tribe” or group of people who just get you.
Engage in Something New
As you grow your inner circle, also look to grow your outer circle where you meet even more people by doing something completely new. Attend a cooking class, venture into stand-up comedy, or learn how to sculpt ice. Pick an activity you wouldn’t do in your daily life. When you venture out to new events make a commitment to meet three people. Introduce yourself and invite each person to attend one of the events that you love. Sharing what you love to do with someone new in your life is a great way to build relationships.
Be of Service
Another great approach is to be of service to others. Volunteer your time and talent to a cause you support. Look for events that align with and something you’re passionate about and believe in. You will meet people with similar beliefs and values, and fill your social calendar with events that are meaningful to you and other people.
Your strategy for socializing as adult is pretty straightforward – find your tribe, engage in something new, and be of service to others. The best magnet for attracting friends is your beautiful mind and heart.
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