Let’s Hear It for Bad Moms

Motherhood is a 24/7 job with no days off, and that includes sick days. Plus, moms have long been held to special and unrealistic expectations. In fact, when people notice negative behaviors or traits in children they often point their fingers at the mother’s lack of attentiveness, discipline, engagement and self-sacrifice. However, before one becomes a mother, she is a human being. In the hit comedy, Bad Mom’s, viewers laughed at motherhood as it really is, full of chaos, change, uncertainty and fallibility. And that opened  the door to needed conversations about expectations and reality. [1]

It’s Ok to Have a Little Bad with the Good

Moms spend years in school and college to earn degrees. And yet, when it comes to raising another human being, they are simply thrown into a new environment. If you’re a mom in the throes of life’s many demands–on top of childrearing–first realize that you are not alone and you’re doing great. Even though other mothers may look like they have everything together, they’re  doing the best they can themselves–and doing the best they can to hide mothering flaws from everyone else. Courtesy of the movie Bad Mom’s, here are tips to remember when you are discouraged[2]:

You Can’t Do It All

Doing it all is unrealistic and not possible. It may seem to be the norm to have your child’s time scheduled with school, extracurricular activities, your own community involvement and also hold a job. But downtime is okay and even healthy. In fact, getting a child used to unstructured time teaches them how to engage in their own time management and cultivate their own creative persona.

Judgment Is a Waste of Time

Don’t let judgmental mom’s or anyone else make you feel terrible about yourself. You are cultivating the development of another person whose personality, needs and challenges are unique. Confiding worries and insecurities in other loved ones is important but do not let anyone shame you for the mom you are.

Me Time Is Allowed

The biggest thing to remember?  “Me time” is allowed. You are allowed to engage in self-care. You’re allowed to go on dates, spend time with friends and engage in hobbies. No, you’re not traumatizing or neglecting your children by dropping them with a family member, friend or sitter. Go enjoy a girl’s night that may involve more than one glass of wine.

Bad Moms breaks a lot of stereotypes without demonizing women for being human beings who still wish to have space outside of motherhood.

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[1] LA Times, “Bad Moms and taking the shame out of motherhood on the screen,” Rebecca Keegan, 2016
[2] The Loop, “9 life lessons we learned from Bad Moms,” Amber Dowling, 2016