Rebalance and Alleviate the Mental Load at Home with the Fair Play Method

Modern households don’t just run on chores, they run on constant thinking, planning, and remembering. From managing schedules and meals to anticipating needs and solving problems before they arise, this invisible labor is known as the mental load. And for many families, it falls disproportionately on one partner, often leading to burnout, resentment, and chronic stress. Enter Eve Rodsky’s Fair Play method — a practical, relationship-saving system designed to create a more equitable division of household responsibilities and significantly reduce mental overload at home.

What Is the Mental Load?

The mental load refers to the invisible cognitive work required to manage a household. It includes not just doing tasks, but:

• Anticipating what needs to be done
• Planning and organizing logistics
• Making decisions
• Following up to ensure completion

Because this work often goes unrecognized, it can quietly drain emotional energy and impact mental health, especially for parents and caregivers. Check out the viral 2017 cartoon explaining the concept of the mental load.

What Is the Fair Play Method?

The Fair Play method is a structured system that helps couples clearly define, divide, and own household responsibilities. Rather than splitting chores informally or assuming one partner will “handle it,” Fair Play creates clarity, accountability, and balance.

At the heart of the method is the Fair Play card game, a deck of 100 cards, each representing a common household or family task — from laundry and groceries to emotional labor and childcare logistics.

How the Fair Play System Works

1. Divide the Invisible Work

The process begins by acknowledging the full scope of household labor. Also known as the “Sh*t I Do List.” This step brings hidden responsibilities into the forefront so they can be shared more fairly. Since the work is invisible, it might shock you what your partner has been managing quietly in the background.

2. Deal the Cards

Couples divide the deck of task cards between partners. Each card is assigned to one person, ensuring every responsibility is clearly owned.

3. Embrace Full Ownership

Owning a card means managing the task from start to finish, including planning, decision-making, execution, and follow-through. This eliminates the need for reminders, micromanaging, or mental checklists.

4. Eliminate Default Roles

Fair Play challenges the idea of a “default” parent or partner. Every task must be intentionally assigned, removing assumptions that often lead to imbalance.

5. Track, Revisit, and Adjust

As life changes, so can the division of labor. The system encourages regular check-ins to adjust responsibilities and maintain fairness over time.

The Benefits of Using the Fair Play Method

Reduces Resentment and Conflict

By making responsibilities visible and shared, Fair Play minimizes nagging, frustration, and emotional buildup. Thereby, replacing tension with teamwork.

Frees Up Time and Mental Space

One of the most powerful outcomes is reclaiming time for yourself. Eve Rodsky calls this “Unicorn Space.” This is time to pursue personal passions, creativity, rest, and identity beyond household roles.

Promotes Equity, Not Perfection

Fair Play focuses on fairness, not strict equality. Each partner contributes in ways that align with capacity, values, and season of life. This is why regular check ins and reevaluation is important. 

Improves Communication Between Partners

The system gives couples a shared language to discuss responsibilities calmly and productively, reducing defensiveness and emotional strain.

Why Reducing Mental Load Is a Wellness Issue

Chronic mental overload contributes to stress, sleep disruption, anxiety, and burnout. All of which affect long-term health and relationship satisfaction. Addressing the mental load isn’t just about household efficiency; it’s about protecting emotional well-being and creating space for rest, connection, and growth.

This not only benefits the person who was the most overburdened but also every member of the household. A more balanced life means fewer outbursts, less burn out, and reduced resentment.

A More Balanced Home Starts with Fair Play

When mental labor is shared, everyone benefits. Partners feel seen and supported. Households run more smoothly. And individuals reclaim the energy to invest in themselves, their relationships, and their well-being. Get the book or the game for a loved one for a very appreciated, thoughtful gift here.

Because Fair Play isn’t about doing more,  it’s about doing life together, more fairly.